


Archer: Part 4

by AuroraRoseane



Series: Archer: The Complete Journals of Melanie Collins [4]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 21:02:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14317092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraRoseane/pseuds/AuroraRoseane





	Archer: Part 4

** May 9, 2016 **

 

I saw Bug today. Turns out Eugene is good for something and the freaking thing worked. I saw my Bug, and I don’t know how I feel.

It’s real. This is _so_ real.

Rosita said that we should wait for Daryl, but I wasn’t sure where he was and I didn’t think he’d want to be here anyway. It’s not like it’s actually his baby, even if everyone thinks it is.

I wasn’t lying when I said that I didn’t know where he is. I don’t even know where he’s sleeping. It isn’t here, and I know that it’s not at the house with the others because they would’ve said something.

But anyway, Eugene showed me how to use the machine on my own, so I can show Daryl later. This lie is getting harder and harder to keep up and I’m getting tired.

 

 

** May 10, 2016 **

 

I talked myself into going into the nursery today. It’d been shut up since Eric died and I hadn’t been able to force myself to go in. He didn’t want me to, until it was completely finished. But that’s not happening now so…

It’s beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking. Every bit of it is Eric. He’s everywhere in this room. 

The walls are a soft, pale grey with white baseboards and furniture, a crib, dresser and changing table, all with yellow polka-dotted bedding. There’s a huge plush yellow rocking chair in the corner and bookshelves full of stories. The hard wood floors had to stay, but he did manage to find a yellow designed carpet to put in the middle of the floor. But the most beautiful aspects are the first and last ones I noticed. 

Hanging on the side of the crib are two handmade blankets, one pink and one blue, with “Baby Boy” and “Baby Girl” embroidered on each respectively. But the thing I noticed last during my scope of the nursery, the thing that made me sob, was the handwritten lettering above the crib. 

**_Remember darling, I will always love you._ **

 

 

** May 13, 2016 **

 

I haven’t seen the archer in days, and when people ask about him I just shrug. I think they’re starting to catch on that something’s not right. I haven’t slept peacefully since the morning we fought, but I refuse to admit that I’m dependent on Daryl Dixon. There I go with the denial again.

Aaron and I have been invited over to dinner at the group’s house tonight, so I expect that I’ll see him there. Maybe. He’s not exactly a predictable man.

They’re throwing the mini party in honor of Morgan, the man who showed up with the scouts all those weeks ago. Honestly I think they’re just using it as an excuse to try and have people be happy again. We’ll see how that goes. 

As it turns out, Morgan is the man who saved Rick all the way back at the beginning of this mess, and he was able to track him here, even after all this time. That’s pretty amazing considering that he’d be alone for most of that time. But then again, if I can do it, surely a full grown, capable man can to.

Both Rosita and Maggie are insisting that we all dress up for this thing, so the pair of them and Tara are coming over soon to help me pick something.

I don’t know why they bother. Everything I wear makes me look fat, and most things that I wore last week don’t even fit me anymore. I can’t squeeze into any of my pants anymore, except the pair that I’m wearing now, which are technically Aaron’s, and I doubt if they’d let me wear them to the party.

I have a feeling they’re going to make me wear a dress.

 

 

** May 13, 2016 **

I’m wearing a fucking dress. Maggie had to help me shave my legs because my back and hips wouldn't allow me to bend over and do it myself, and Rosita made me put on some makeup, and this is ridiculous, and I just want to take all of this off and crawl into bed and hide. But I can’t because “You're going even if we have to drag you. I don’t care that you’re pregnant.”

And we thought Pete was the bad guy for hitting me once.

 

** May 14, 2016 **

 

The party was interesting to say the least. Very...interesting. 

It started out much like my first dinner with this family, everyone being very nice, wanting to chat about Bug and Daryl Dixon avoiding me. He didn't even show up until an hour and a half after Aaron and I arrived, and he completely ignored me when he said hello to our friend. And everyone definitely noticed. 

But I, being the spiteful little thing that I am, set out to have a wonderful night and make sure he knew it. I was talking and laughing with Rosita, Abraham and Glenn when Eugene joined us and asked if everyone had seen the ultrasound. I had in fact, taken or been taken back to the medical center to show multiple people my little Bug. But not its "father". 

Which would have been fine if no one asked about it, but of course Eugene being Eugene, called the hunter over to ask what he thought about the whole thing. Indicated by the questioning look on Daryl's face, Eugene exclaimed loudly enough that the whole house heard it, "You have not seen the fetus yet?!" 

Thanks Eugene. Daryl shook his head and the mullet-man decided that we should all go take a look, which I quickly begged out on. Dixon had other ideas though. 

He grabbed at my wrist and whispered out a "Les' go". It was he first thing he'd said to me in more than a week and I was genuinely surprised. When I didn't move he just stared knowing I'd eventually get uncomfortable and go along. Which I'm hesitant to admit happened. 

Once we were outside he let go of my wrist and I headed toward the med center. I figured that if this was just a reuse so he could leave the party, he'd let me know. But he didn't, just followed me there and inside, to the room when the Frankenstein machine is kept. He eyed it curiously and shrugged. 

I sat down on the small cot next to the thing and asked him to hand me a blanket to cover with as I'd be needing to lift my dress. He did so, and I laid back exposing my bulging belly and showed him where to turn the machine on. I grabbed the wand and put that horribly cold jelly on it before pressing it to my stomach, just the way Eugene showed me how. After fiddling with it a bit, a semi-clear picture popped up on the old computer screen.

I was so focused on getting the thing in focus that I'd blocked out the archer almost completely, but when I looked at him then all I could see on his face was wonder. 

He'd clearly never seen an ultrasound in real life before and was examining the picture with his hunter's eyes. He'd look at the screen, then to my stomach and back again. I would of thought it entertaining if I hadn't still been holding a grudge against him. He said only one thing regarding it all, showing me how observant he really is.

"There's two." 

I just nodded, said yeah, a boy and a girl, and he was silent for a long time. Then he turned off the machine, took the wand and indicated for me to get up. When I'd righted myself he spoke again and I thought this's gotta be some kind of record.

"Les' go home," he said. So we did.

 

 

** May 15, 2016 **

 

I guess we're just going to pretend the past week and a half didn't happen, which is fine with me. I'd rather not fight again. But so _not_ fine because I didn't get any real answers. I was the one to bring it up last time, though, so it's up to him now. 

I woke up this morning with him curled around me again and it pissed me off a bit. Not because he was crossing a line or anything, but because I finally got some real sleep, more than I had since our fight. _I am not dependent on Daryl Dixon._

He was initially going to sleep on the couch last night, but after 20 minutes of me "floppin' 'roun like a dyin' fish" he came upstairs and crawled into bed with me. 

Aaron noticed the extra plate at breakfast this morning, I know he did because he gave both of us a look, but he didn't say anything. Sometimes I feel like he's coming back to us, and that look reminded me of the Aaron before the loss of Eric. That Aaron _loved_ to tease in his subtle little ways. I want that Aaron back. 

Daryl headed out shortly after breakfast without a word so I decided to show my roommate the nursery his love had worked on so diligently. It was the first time I'd seen him smile since he got back. That smile soon turned to tears though, from the both of us, so we sat on the floor remembering our Eric until long after lunch. 

 

 

** May 17, 2016 **

 

I was down in the communities pantry his afternoon with Maggie when I saw it. _A bow_ in perfect condition with a mostly full quiver, just sitting there with the other weapons. It doesn't belong to anybody, Aaron found it when he was out scouting months ago and figures that someone would be able to use it. 

That someone is me. I asked Olivia if I could have it, and after a quick glance to my ever-growing belly she just shrugged and told me not to kill anybody.

_I have a bow again!_ It's been ages since I lost my last one, and I'm definitely going to be a bit rusty but whatever. Who cares? I have a bow again! 

I'll have to ask someone to help me set up some targets, maybe out back behind the house. I know without even asking that they'll never let me go outside the walls to practice. And I don't even think I'd want to right now anyway. Not with my aching back and feet and this huge baby belly. And I don't want anything to happen to my Bugs.

_Bug and Bugette maybe?_ Eh. It'll work for now. 

 

 

** May 18, 2016 **

Apparently that since I'm pregnant, it's ok to just take away my God given rights. Like say, the right to bear arms? Which is ridiculous because it's not even a gun, it's a freaking bow, my freaking bow, now, and if I want to use it then I should be able to. 

But nooooooo. Not according to the archer.

All I asked was for one legitimate reason, one realistic scenario in which I would shoot myself in the stomach with an arrow. Do you know what I got? Nonsensical sputtering and Aaron's not-so-silent laughing in the background. Oh but no, it's not actually funny because Aaron agrees with Daryl even though it makes no sense. 

And now I want to shoot both of them with an arrow. Not anywhere serious, like in the foot or something. I'm not a complete maniac. 

 

 

** May 19, 2016 **

 

I tried to make Daryl sleep on the couch last night, due to the whole bow debacle. That didn't work out. The "dyin' fish" syndrome returned. And after about 20 minutes of that, i heard my door open and the weight of a body crawling into my bed. Which was fine, because he at least had the decency to stay on his side and not touch me. 

Until I realized that I _wanted_ him to touch me. All over. And not in appropriate ways. 

When my best friend Kasey got pregnant in high school she'd talk about her crazy hormones all the time. Especially when they lead to what was "The Best Sex of Her Life".

I really, really want to have sex. Right now. Actually, last night would have be great. Or any time in between. Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex. Sex. I literally can't think about anything else. 

I just about jumped out of my skin earlier, when he grazed my arm while passing through a doorway. He soooooo cannot sleep upstairs with me tonight. I'm so wound up, if he even puts an arm around me I might jump him. 

This pregnancy is going to be the death of me.

 

 

** May 19, 2016 **

 

Yeah. This is not working. My heart is racing and I'm fidgety, and I can't stop thinking about it. I would ask somebody if this is normal but Tara, Rosita and Maggie don't have kids, and Judith's mom is gone. I don't know Jesse well enough for all that and I'm sure as hell not asking Deanna

So I'm just going to sit here and suffer and never go anywhere near Daryl Dixon ever again. I'm sure that's possible. 

Well at least I'm going to try. Because that man is observant as hell and no way I'm letting him figure this out. I have a feeling that his helpful streak is about to run out and I'm totally fine with that. I wouldn't be able to live with the humiliation of asking him for _that._ Which is exactly why I'm going to make it impossible for me to ask in any way. 

So step one of Plan: Avoiding Dixon is to have a super girly, super un-Dixon-like, middle school style sleepover. He won't come within 30 feet of me. 

 

 

** May 19, 2016 **

 

The best way to get someone to agree to something is to make it ridiculously impossible to say no, all while looking as innocent as possible. I mastered this concept in toddlerhood. 

I made sure that I had talked to all the girls about the sleepover before I even mentioned it to Aaron or Daryl. Not surprisingly, all of them are eager for a girls night and said yes without hesitation. Easy peasy, pumpkin pie. Rosita, Tara, Maggie, and even Michonne will be showing up at house around 7. I asked Sasha too, but she's on wall duty, again. I didn't bother asking Carol as she's made no secret of her dislike of me. 

When I "asked" Aaron he sighed and asked if it _had_ to be tonight, and I told him that I'd already asked everyone. He gave in without a fight, and said he'd warn Daryl. Seriously, it was a piece of cake. 

Oh. I want cake. Pumpkin cake. With pickles and chocolate syrup. I hate pickles. But it sounds so good. Maybe we could do some baking when the everyone gets here later…

 

 

** May 20, 2016 **

 

The thing I forgot about, when planning this sleepover to get away from the archer, is that none of us are actually in middle school. We're grown women, and the 2 things women like to talk about when they get together are men (or other women in Tara's case) and sex. The 2 things I absolutely want to avoid. 

More specifically, sex and Daryl Dixon. That, however, is all they wanted to discuss. 

Apparently he's been on everyone (including Tara's) radar from the moment they all met, and I was the only one able to to give any details. And they wanted all of them. Problem with that is that I don't actually have any details. And it's not like I could just make things up like that under pressure.

So I played coy despite their questioning, and let me say, they asked some things that would've made Bree Olsen blush, and eventually they calmed down. Barely.

They went on to talk about their experiences then, with Glenn and Abraham and whoever else before. I just smiled when appropriate and tried not to think about Daryl Dixon doing all those things they'd asked me about.

This sleepover was a bad idea. 

 

 

** May 21, 2016 **

 

I would do anything for chocolate ice cream right about now. Chocolate ice cream with blueberries smothered in caramel. And I would like to eat it off of Daryl Dixon's bare chest if at all possible. 

It's not, which is why I'm writing this down, because if it was possible it's exactly what I'd be doing. But it's not. And that fact makes me want to cry.

I will be more than happy when I can be done with these hormones and go back to not wanting to eat strange food off of strange men. Or crying. I am so ready to be done with crying over nothing. Its annoying and I'd be alright if it never happened again.

All of that being said, I don't know what I'm going to do about tonight. I've managed to stay away from him for 2 nights now, first the sleepover and then he went hunting with Rick overnight, but he'll be back here tonight and I have no real excuses to avoid him. 

My whole plan went out the window as soon as the images of him going down on me (thanks a lot Rosita), among other things (you should be ashamed Maggie), popped into my head. It's all I think about 90% of the time and it's starting to physically hurt in my girly parts. I'm guessing it's like blue balls, for hormonal pregnant women. And it sucks. 

I don't know what I'm going to do. I absolutely cannot sleep next to that man tonight. Maybe I could convince him to take the couch again. Or just lock him out. Or, better yet, I could just shut myself up in the pantry and eat my feelings away. That could work, right? 

 

 

** May 22, 2016 **

 

Well that was embarrassing. In fact it was so mortifying that I might just feed myself to a few walkers. After labor and delivery, of course.

I was having sex and Daryl walked in. Having sex _with myself_ , that is. But still. I mean, it's totally fine and normal, and all that, but HE WALKED IN ON ME. Clearly he hasn't heard of knocking. 

And I probably should have locked the door. Then again, he could've just kicked it down. Again. 

And I mean, I was under the covers. So he didn't _see_ anything. But I'm sure it was pretty damn obvious what I was doing. 

It's not like I was getting anywhere anyway. I've never really been great at _that_ in the first place, but these ovarian blue balls are starting to kill me. So I had to do something. 

But it didn't work. It probably wouldn't have worked even if Daryl hadn't walked in on me. Which, by the way, I know that man can move, but I have never seen a person run so fast in my life. It would have been funny if I didn't want to shoot myself right now. 

 

 

** May 22, 2016 **

 

And it gets even worse. 

I was down in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner when he finally decided to come back home. I figured he'd try to stay as far away from me as possible, but once again, Daryl Dixon is not predictable. 

Instead he marched right up to me and tried to stutter out some sort of apology and I burst into tears. Because I do that now. So then he thought he'd done something else wrong and I just started crying more. Then he wanted to run and get Maggie, because he _does not_ do crying girls, and I told him no, I was fine, that I'm just so tired, and hungry all the time, and that I'm so horny I want to die and it won't go away, and that everything hurts and I just want it to stop. Once I got going on these confessions I couldn't stop. 

Only when I did finally stop, did I notice Aaron also standing in the doorway to the kitchen, hearing my outburst. If I didn't want to die before, I do now. 

So I did the only thing one can do when she completely humiliates herself in this way: I ran upstairs, slammed my door shut, locked it, and plan on never leaving again. 

 

 

** May 23, 2016 **

 

Aaron eventually brought me up some food. I knew it was him, because I heard him. When daryl walks, you can only hear him if he wants you too. Then again, maybe he was giving me a warning this time. 

Anyway, it was Aaron though, because when he knocked he asked me to unlock the door so we could talk. I didn't, he just set the plate down outside the door and left after a few minutes of waiting. I got up opened the door, grabbing the food so I could eat. I was rather hungry. And I left the door unlocked before crawling back into bed. 

The next time he came up, it must have been lunch time I guess, he walked in having found the door unlocked, and sat down next to me with the plate. He just say with me quietly while I ate and then asked if I was really hurting that much. All I could do was nod and he frowned, saying he'd ask around if there was something we could do. 

When I didn't say anything he told me that daryl had left last night, shortly after my scene, and hadn't been back yet. Spencer, who was watching the gate, told him the archer wanted to be let out last night, saying he was going on a run. 

He left again. Because of me. Maybe I should just tell everyone the truth, so he doesn't have to put up with me anymore. I'm sure he'd rather he never said anything, never claimed anything. I don't blame him. I'm a mess. And it's only going to get worse when the babies get here. 

I should just let him out now. He shouldn't have to be stuck with us. 

 

 

** May 24, 2016 **

 

I just keep making this whole thing better and better. Really. I should be getting some sort of "Queen of Embarassment" award or something. 

Daryl is back. Though I have a feeling he might leave again. 

He came home early this morning, Aaron wasn't even up yet, and knocked on my door, waking me up. He surprised me, he's good at that, and handed me a backpack, nodding at me to open it. And when I did unzip the bag and look inside, I pretty much died of shock. 

Inside were about 6-10 brand new, in the plastic _vibrators_ of different kinds and sizes. My face instantly went red, and his did too, if he nervous voice was anything to go by. 

I just kept staring into the bag while he was explaining about not knowing what to get, or what I'd like, or if they'd help at all, but if they don't he could go out again because there was another store about 4 hours away from the first one and...

And I finally looked up at him with tears in my eyes, and I could see him panic instantly. But I just...no one has ever done something so... _this_ for me before and I swear I could've kissed him right then. 

So I did. 

I'd barely even touched my lips to his before he froze and pushed me away. Of course he did. Why would Daryl Dixon want to kiss me. I'm so stupid. 

I wanted to apologize, but he was out the door before I could open my mouth. 

Of course he ran. Why wouldn't he? Daryl would never want me to kiss him. Not after what _they_ did. Why would I ever think he'd want some used up piece of trash like me? God, I'm so stupid. Why would anybody want me now? I'm broken. 

This time I really did cry, and I think I'm going to go do it some more. 

 

 

** May 24, 2016 **

 

I remembered this thing, from months ago, just now. Eric and I were sitting in the kitchen, him at the table chopping vegetables and me at the sink peeling potatoes. I started humming first Carrie Underwood, then some Elvis. 

He asked me if I sang, and I told him yes. He asked if I knew any Barbra, and I looked at him like he was stupid. So I started out soft, singing the first few lines of I'd Rather Be Blue Over You. It's my favorite, I don't know why. Everyone else always liked People or My Man, but I was always about the Blue. 

So I sang and I sang, not a care in my mind, until I heard someone say stop rather harshly. It was Daryl. Of course it was him, and he asked me to stop so I did. He looked angry, maybe even furious and demanded in his gruff tone "don' sing anymore". So I didn't. I haven't sang in months, since that day. 

I should've realized it then. He doesn't want anything to do with me. He never did. And why would he?

 

 

** May 24-25, 2016 **

 

I going to tell everyone the truth in the morning. That we lied. What actually happened. Carol was right about me. They all trust me, but I've been lying this whole time. Sure Aaron knows, and Michonne and Rick. I just hope the others don't all hate me after I tell them. Maggie and Tara, Rosita, they're easily my closet friends now. I hope they'll forgive me. Maybe if I tell them first. 

 

 

** May 25, 2016 **

 

I told Maggie, told her first. I thought she'd get the most angry about me lying, but she didn't. Not at all. 

I told her my Bugs aren't Daryl's, told her what really happened. Told her everything. She's the first person I've really talked to about any of it completely and she didn't say a word. Just hugged me and held me while I cried. 

I asked her not to be mad at Daryl, he was just trying to help and she said of course she wouldn't be. She said she could never be mad at him for protecting someone. 

She asked if he knew I was planning on telling everyone, and I said no, I hadn't seen him since yesterday. She made me promise that I'd talk to him first, though I'm sure he probably doesn't want to speak with me.

She said that I could come and talk to her about anything, no matter what time it was and no matter how much Glenn complained about it. I smiled at that. She even said she'd go with me to tell everyone else and I quickly took her up on her offer. 

She must have been an amazing big sister. 

 

 

** May 27, 2016 **

 

Aaron knows something is wrong. It’s impossible to miss with all the tension in the house, let alone in the kitchen where the 3 of us stand. For the past day and a half whenever the hunter and I find ourselves in the same room, one of us leaves. We don’t speak, we don’t even look at each other and Daryl’s couch-bed is another obvious sign. 

He won’t ask, but he knows.

I’ve been avoiding him as much as I can. I know that I need to talk to him. Maggie was right, I need to tell him about my plans. I just can’t bear facing him at all right now. I don’t want to annoy him, or be in his way. But he needs to know so he isn’t blind sighted. I owe him that much after all he’s done for me.

If Eric were here he’d tell us both to suck it up and talk, work it out. But he’s not and this is one of those times when I really miss him. He’d know what to do, what to say. And I have no clue.

I need to do it soon though, because I can't stand this lying for much longer. Now that I’ve told Maggie I feel the need to tell the others too, especially Tara and Rosita.

I just don’t know what to do.

 

 

** May 28, 2016 **

 

It seems that I spoke to soon. I was right, Aaron did realize that something is wrong, however I was mistaken if I thought he wouldn’t interfere. He did quite the opposite, in fact.

As the three of us ate our dinners without a word it would seem Aaron got fed up. With a “Ok, that’s enough!”, he demanded that we get up from the table and follow him. So we did, and he led us up and into the nursery. Surprisingly Daryl barely glanced around the room, as if he’d seen it a million times before. I didn’t think he’d been in here yet.

Aaron stood in the doorway and said, rather aggressively, “Whatever _this_ is, fix it. You have 2 little Bugs depending on you and they will not be raised in a house with parents who won’t look at each other.” And with that he slammed and locked the door from the outside.

I was now stuck in a very cheery room with someone not at all cheery.

 

 

** May 28, 2016 **

 

Daryl paced the floor like a caged animal while I just stared out the window. This is exactly what I didn’t want. 

When I finally got the courage I whispered “I’m sorry,” and he stopped pacing to look at me. And then I spilled it all out, that I’d told Maggie and I was going to tell everyone else. All he did was ask me why, and I said so that he wouldn't have to pretend anymore, or put up with me and my crazy. He gave me a once over and said “Ya ain’t crazy,” before turning to pace again.

I waited a few minutes, then I said that I was sorry for kissing him, that I didn’t know what I was thinking, that I know he doesn’t want me like that, because I’m not clean anymore, and he doesn’t have to feel obligated to take care of me of the babies.

But I didn’t really get to finish my last thought because all of a sudden he was right up in my face, asking me who said that, who said I was dirty? I told him that nobody did, nobody had to because I knew, and he looked like he wanted to slap me or cry or both.

He started to pace again, shaking his head, and I just stood there with my arms wrapped around myself trying not to cry. I’ve done enough crying. He stopped suddenly, getting in my face again, saying that I was wrong, but I just looked away. I couldn’t take him staring at me like that. 

But he put his fingers on my chin and turned my head back to face his, and leaned forward to press a kiss to my temple, before wrapping his arms around me and puling me as close as my stomach would let him. He put his forehead on my shoulder and we stood like that for awhile before he spoke again.

He said that he “ain’t used ta touchin’. Only one who’d ever don’ it without hurtin’ was…” but I knew who he meant. Her, Beth. I nodded in understanding and he said it was ok, “Jus’ gotta go slow,” and I nodded again.

Then he asked if I really wanted to tell everyone the truth. And I did. I don’t like lying to them, and I told him so. He took a moment then nodded an alright. “But,” he said, “still mine. Long as ya want.”

I smiled for the first time in weeks.

 

 

** May 30, 2016  **

 

We told everyone. Together. We talked to Glenn, Tara and Rosita first, with Maggie there too, and then the rest of the group altogether. No one was mad. I did a lot of crying with my girls, even though I swore I wouldn’t anymore. But no one was angry, not even close.

Except for Carol maybe. But I’ve given up on trying to be her friend. I know that she’s close to Daryl but that doesn’t mean I have to be.

We didn’t bother telling any of the other members of the community. If they found out, fine, but if not, it’s not really their business anyway.

I’m just glad that it’s all out in the open. I feel like I can breathe again for the first time since _it_ happened. Everything is going to be fine.

 

 

** June 15, 2016 **

 

Things have been good, really good, and I’ve been unbelievably busy. Aaron and Daryl went out again and were only gone 3 days before they came back with a small group of 7 people. 2 men, 3 women and 2 children. Christy and Paul had been married for 10 years before all of this and managed to survive with their children Marcy and Ben, aged 9 and 5. The others were Thomas and his daughter Lucille, and her sister-in-law Grace. Christy, Paul and Thomas had been neighbors in Chicago, and luckily made it out of the city before things got bad. 

They’re good people, and we’ve all been helping them to get settled. They were given the house the next house in the row, next to Daryl’s family’s 2. Lucille and Marcy have taken to fussing over me like crazy and I find that I don’t really mind. The kids are great and Paul jumped right in to help Abraham on the construction crew. Thomas was actually a professor at Northwestern and has taken over teaching the older students at the school. Grace is the only one who’s…iffy.

It could just be me with my crazy hormonal unbalance, but I swear she stares at Dixon like he’s a piece of meat. Which he totally is, but he’s my piece of meat. Sort of. He of course, notices nothing. He’s so observant, and yet so clueless with women. It’s adorable sometimes but in this case I kinda just want to say, “Really?!”

But like I said, everything is good. Once I got everything straightened out with Daryl I started having less mood swings. The cravings, food and _otherwise,_ have not sub sighted, however. Right now I would kill for a waffle with peanut butter and applesauce, and sex, but I highly doubt I’ll be getting any of those things.

I can’t really complain though because I know he’s trying. Waking up every morning with him wrapped around me is enough, along with the little touches I get throughout the day. A hand on my back here, brushing my hair off my shoulder there. I thought I was going to die when he held my hand yesterday. So yeah, it’s enough.

The other night though, I had to ask him to go for a walk at 2AM, so I could _deal with things._ Because even though my mind has agreed to slow it down, my body has not. He looked awkward, but complied. The poor guy..

Again, I didn’t get very far though. Being 6 months pregnant with twins kind of makes things hard to reach. So I’m still suffering. And I know he’s going to get mad that I didn’t ask when I needed something, but I mean, he hasn’t even kissed me. So I’m not about to ask him to help me with _that._

 


End file.
